the geek is back and this time its nerdy

heyyy gesss what jamie is back i have had my head up my ass for too long and it ends here i have one thing to say and that is thank you to all my friends they have supported me so much through this strange time there have been many some coming far out there way to get stake and give me hugs and look after me on a hard night and others who got me drunk and made me sing on karieoky but you have all helped so much and i love you all i dont wanna list coz il forget people but thank you all of you you are the best friends a guy could ever need i adore you all and i thank you so much for this year and other times in my life :D love you all and thank you to the new friend whos blog i love and has already helped me alot to all of you your awesome and yes im gonna be geeking up my life from now on

love hate and war high school for a the different kid

right il start with me from a young age i was different i must stress this though i loved it i am me and that's all i can be over the last few months after a few crazy years im starting to find me again and i got to thinking  high school was shit i never really fit in the geeks i wasn't hated or beat up every day but i wasnt popular at all i had my friends and i wouldn't change them ever but some times it was hell to start with i dont like football i play rugby in my year in school i was the only one that did and i didnt know who half the players that were being talked about when it came too football this for some strange reason made guys think i was stupid but what ever i lived then when it comes to playing football im even worse now this is were it got bad  if people on my team were good firt of all i felt bad because  im big on the team ethos but second they would physically go for me i had one lad in a p.e lesson physically hit me because a messed up a kick i worked out quick that the lads in my school respected three things how good you were at sport [only available while playing said sport] the girl you were with or how well you fought now me i remember one P,E lesson the bigger lads were like lets smash jamie  now that was there first mistake knocked them on there ass ran all the way in to scare this happened 3 or 4 times then they try to do the same to me i dropped them every time and then that day i was respected i felt grate but the next its back to lets take the piss outta jamie then came the hard part of school and still my life now girls hmmmmm i was never and am still not amazingly attractive im not the worst looking guy in the world but im not stunning and where im from i stuck out about a light year i had long hair  did not stick to fashion and did not listen to the music most people did this did not bode well for me trying to find a girl and it didnt go well so i spent most of high school getting like a 1 week relationship then being dumped getting upset getting beat up and genrally not having tht most stable time i was at that point  pacifistic i would never thourgh a punch back id just get my self out  but then all hell oprend up the group of friends from "years above us left leaving our group smaller and there had been a few "disagreements" so there was blood in the water and the sharks came the kids from the year below us got ballsy nd started fights were there were three of them and one of us we had bricks thrown at us they were throwing full cans of coke bags filled with ink and i even got a bottle of piss thrown over me it started small and got bigger its when i saw how bad it wass affecting the people around me i decided to fight back i could take any one of them one on one but on on 3 or more was harder i can say i stoood my ground and never backed down through cuts bruises and even major knee damage it all ended one Monday with me and 2 friends in a brawl against about 25 other lads i got my knee fucked up but we made our stand and our point and im proud of that and all this was becouse by some stupid idea i was different and a lower class of person it happens every day not just in high school this is just my story but there are many more and many worse i had the only thing to get me though my friends thats all that got me out the other side and i thank them for that and to any one reading this thinking this is happening to me now send me a comment let me try to help THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN WE ARE ALL EQUAL NO MATTER OF RACE WEALTH BLOOD LINE GENDER SEXUALITY NOTHING MATTER BECOUSE APART WE FALL TOGETHER WE STAND every one is different that is why we work as a race accept differences don't punish it

those moment that start new chapters in you life

soo a year ago today i kissed my ex for the first time and i knew life was looking up then in January my mum was  told she had cancer for the third time nd here comes life smashing back to earth my mum lived nd is ok so far my ex went uni  and sadly we didn't last nd thats life again goes back to knocking me down nd this just this year life is filled with these moments but most the time we forget the happy moments right now im alone i don't like it  i need people in my life but i dont think il be meeting any one soon maby this is just the sad blog of a nobody that's  sad bitter nd lonely but i just wish these moments could leave me alone the last three years have been so hard and it wont let up to let the pain end i just wish that i could have a nice shock for once is it just me or is it every one nd has ny one ever been pulled out of this spiral if any one reads this let me know

too my woodland girl to many more interruptions

this is about a very good friend of mine you know who you are.

who wudda thought that when we met we would still be friends now the first time we met i covered my self in pastry tht stuck to my jacket nd then you you made me run off on my gf  i went home thinking you are crazy nd i still think that now but lucky for us i like crazy nd so do you years past nd my respect for you has grown your beautiful fun funny caring you stood by me through some of the hardest moments in my life you helped me to become the person i am we have had alot of fun nd alot of tears  i love you more then 99.9% of people on the planet you are amazing nd need to remember that your a super star and i lovvve you and remember you are who you are let no one judge your soul that hasn't lived your life

cuddles on a cold night

so i think im over my ex but i do miss just cuddles nd kisses not even the sex just the person there with me too watch a movie or talk about nothing for hours is it too much to ask i just wanna feel wanted or needed im not good looking im not that smart i am bright i can figure most things out nd when it comes to p.cs i rock them but thats not to brag about to girls im not a normal guy i cry  i cnt just go out nd get laid i need feelings i need to feel i got a place in life right now i dont i feel obsolete iv fought all my life nd now iv got nout to fight for  iv not got any one  to be the white knight for no1 to run through the snow to stop there tears orr to hold after they are diagnosed with cancer for the third time no 1 too be strong for i need a new fight and then maaby i could find some cuddles on a cold night.

why do we fall?

ok so everyone gets hurt that's life people use us people hurt us people lie to themselves and others with out knowing it  my ex did she killed me but she never meant to she would never hurt any one the only reason we get hurt is other people we let them in too our lives and they mess up and end up cutting us to ribbons in the process but does any one think what if they didn't where would we be today im playing rugby if my ex hadn't hurt me i wouldn't because id have never found the strength to start playing again after i got hurt   but here i am but its not just lovers who hurt you friends, family, anyone but as you fall you learn and what you learn is how to get back up how too stand at the on your own too feet how to take the pain from any card life throws at you  and this is why we fall crash and burn

to the girl that helped me over the ex too berger king nd the oaks

hello all this is about a deer friend of mine you no who you are cinders nd that's all that matters you are a star your really a life savor your beautiful inside nd out you look after me when others cba and you never stop caring i love you with all my heart u know how i fell bout you but i know why we cant be nd i understand it cinders you have made a gray life live in color again nd helped a broken man to fight again i can never thank you enough nd will never let go of you from buttons xx

single nd shitting it

 ok so im single nd i hate it right today i did some thing iv never done before and tryed to give a girl my number needles too say i failed   lol cute girl into games working in a game shop nd i thought she would be single more fool me right but she was nice about it nd said she was flattered  but it got me too thinking do girls really like it when guys make moves like that or does it piss them off i dont no  i never do this sorta thing but i dont know how else to talk to women lol im crap i freeze nd panic nd end up quoting a film or sumthing and end up kicking my self too all the girls out there how do you like guy to approach you lol it scares the shit outta us give us a clue please and if ur a cute gamer girl drop me a line lol but please help us men to help you

im back i guess :)

hello im back sorry iv been gone a while but well i lost the number one girl and well chaos followed for a while  but im back for good lil stronger and have alot more free time and now its xmas and yeh wow i have spoken to a girl today shes very smart very kind and a nice person you should reed her blog its epic  http://rebbie-shane.blogspot.com/ so goo look at hers erm so yeh good night guys hope some one reads this blog lol :P